Teenage Years Revisited

I’m 21 but I feel 14 again. Why? Zits.
I’m running out of tea tree oil, and the Himalaya ANP cream doesn’t seem to work anymore, luckily my mum gave me a witch hazel blemish stick. Witch hazel is better than tea tree oil I think. It works. Most of my pimples are dried up now, but they’re still there la (so annoying!). And there’s new one popping out on my chin. Pissed!
I’ve stopped the Turnaround skin care routine. Not because I suspect it of causing the pimples. I’ve had breakouts even before I used Turnaround. Plus, it work wonders for my skin and it’s dermatologically tested so it’s not the cause of these acne. I’m stopping the routine coz I’m so lazy to use this and that, now that I’m a spotty geek, I’ll just use the basic 3-step skincare and the blemish stick.
Today I weigh myself and I’m 49.7kg. All the workout doesn’t seem to work though. In fact, it makes me HEAVIER. So you can imagine how dissappointed,angry and useless I feel right now. I’m so tired. I lift weights, do sit ups and stuffs, and weigh myself only to find that I’m getting heavier and heavier.
When I was in school, I weigh 42kg and I complained that I’m fat. If I could turn back time and be 14 again, I swear I won’t make a fuss about my body and be proud of it. 42kg isn’t that heavy. As I grow older and older, I gain weight. From 42kg to 45kg. And then 47kg. But last time it was a piece of cake to lose weight. I guess the older you got, the harder it is to slim down. It gives me the creeps thinking about how much I’ll weigh at 40.
At this stage, I am really,really,really unhappy with my body. I have acne. And if I exercise, I’ll sweat and MORE pimples will come out. If I don’t exercise, I can grow as big as an elephant by the time I start the new semester. And if I do exercise, I will do really intense workout and it causes missing periods. It’s like a horrible chain reaction.
I really envy people who are naturally slim and slender and can eat 10 Big Macs and never gain an ounce.
From now on I’m eating less carbs and more protein. I’ll stock up on yoghurt, baked beans, fish fillets, chicken meatballs, chicken sausages, lots and lots of fruits and vege. And drink 2L of water as usual.
Boring day. Why is it that when I’m having exams there are cool movies on TV but now I’m on holiday, all the movies are dull and stupid? Spent the day watching Ever After on star movies. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watch it.